Many glorious nations from around the world are once again represented in the Fantasy Olympics. Read more about the histories of some of these countries below.

Dominium Divinum Petrochemicum de Groganzola (Free 30 day trial of PEACOCK Premium upon immigration!*) 

Sanctus Bellator Ross Grogan

 *Mention offer code SACREDCOUP for 20% off immigration and naturalization taxes and fees! Complimentary riverfront Dacha bestowed upon live birth of male heir! Minimal radiation!

Bijeli miš                              

Prime Minister Alen Malnar  

10 years of history

Vladt                                        

President Lan

A Country with a rich history in arts and culture whose descendants were travelers from the far east.

United Cats of Cat                                          

Premier Chris

Cat.

I hate it here

President Kathleen                                                           

Everyone is sick and vacation sucks

Pizzanytime Inc.

Bagelmeister Meisterbagel Michael Evanshine Buckley                     

It started with an idea.  Pizza in the morning.  Pizza in the evening.  Pizza at suppertime.  Scortchin’ palates since Nagano and coming for a bite of the gold.

Josburg                

Queen JoAnna Perkins

Josburg is a small, bucolic country nestled between two mountain ranges. The royal family has ruled here for millennia, beloved by all (other than one minor revolution, but everyone was doing it in the 18th century). Their main exports are partially finished art projects and wine.

Liareland

Queen/King      Labhaoise Mooney                                         

Liarland is where dreams go to thrive. Whatever you say is the truth, regardless of the reality surrounding you.

Mabeltopia      

High Sultaness Allison Buckley                                              

Mabeltopia was once a lush wonderland, vibrant, mentally stable and healthy. The years passed, the Sultaness’s cat aged, she started leaning too hard on Prozac and steroids. The Sultaness had too many kids, the cat became unhappy. It’s a story all too common in these trying times.

Randomland  

Queen Robin Hoskins               

The little known country of Randomland has been around for awhile. It is a peaceful country. Our population may be small but we like it that way actually. Education is a top priority in our country, as well as healthcare, which is free to all. Our country is a hidden gem in North America. In fact, it can only be found by those who are what some may call well random or perhaps scatterbrained.  While that might make some think our country consists of idiots, those people would be very wrong! Not all who wander are lost, and those who may wander or wonder into Randomland are welcomed with open arms. However, if you break a law in Randomland you will likely be exiled. Of course, if found guilty. Greetings of Peace and Joy!  Queen Robin of Randomland

Bananastandia

Mr. Manager Ted Cunningham                               

There’s always money here. $250K in the walls, etc.

Untied Sates of Amercia

Bruh James Isaac        

They not like U.S.

KurtRussellStan

Russell in Chief Trish

On March 20, 2014, just days after the Russian annexation of Crimea, American actor Kurt Vogel Russell was kidnapped by Russian forces while on vacation in Turkey. Russell was held and charged with espionage against the Autonomous Republic of Crimea, though it is widely agreed that he was targeted for his role in the popular 2004 American sports film Miracle celebrating the USA Hockey gold medal at the 1980 Olympic Winter Games. Hoping to dispel the negative image of both their aggression against Ukraine and the rampant sports drugging of their modern Olympic athletes, the Kremlin hoped to force the aging actor to renounce the “Miracle on Ice” with a remake of the film. 

Unbeknownst to the Russian government, however, was the widespread adoration of Russell held by the Crimeans from every background, including the majority Russian population. The region saw mass protests with signs featuring the actor’s career highlights, including “Free Captain Ron” and “Escape from New York L.A. Crimea”. Within two days, wearing a bucket hat or an eyepatch became a symbol of solidarity for the actor’s plight. Protests were also held in Russia, Ukraine, on college campuses in the US, in various EU nations, and with surprisingly large turnouts in Turkey. 

The Kremlin also didn’t account for Russell’s massive range of non-acting skills, which led to his escape on March 25th. During a struggle at a detention center near Sevastopol, the actor managed to subdue two of his captors with a crowbar, a move that Russell later attributed to his time as a minor-league baseball player. Once he relieved the Russian guards of their arms, together with twelve other political captives he was able to commandeer a small jet. Thanks to his extensive piloting experience, Russell flew the jet across the Black Sea and landed in a field near Varna, Bulgaria. 

This unexpected turn of events was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. Though the Russian media attempted to block news of Russell’s escape, its relatively new position in the area led to almost immediate leaks, primarily over commercial radio. On March 28th, the united people of Crimea, already in a heightened state due to the invasion and annexation by Russia, combined with the kidnapping and escape of their hero, rose up against the Russian forces. They stormed the government buildings, military posts and border with crowbars and captured ballistic weapons. Though not a bloodless coup, international observers later commended the Crimeans on their effort to avoid the loss of life, especially when juxtaposed with the Russian annexation just weeks earlier.

Not willing to relinquish power to neither Ukraine nor Russia, on April 1st the hastily reformed joint meeting of Verkhovna Rada of Crimea and Sevastopol City Council once again declared the region an independent country, though this time with the name the Republic of Kurt Russell (Республіка Курт Рассел) and closed the border. (The English-language media erroneously labeled the newly formed republic “Kurtrussellstan”, which unfortunately stuck until the country’s minor successes at the 2024 Summer Olympics.)

From his home in Vancouver, Kurt Russell released a statement in support of his namesake country and called for both his birth country the USA and his home country of Canada to do the same. Support also came in a surprise statement by Secretary General of NATO Anders Fogh Rasmussen, who later revealed that he was a huge fan of the actor. This unexpected endorsement led most of the world to assume that the 28 nations of NATO were fully in favor of the newly formed republic, a notion that may have prevented the immediate reinvasion of Russia. 

The rest is history.

Kurtrussellstan quick facts: 

Area: 10,000 sq mi

Population: 2,570,150 (2021)

Capital: Sevastopol

Demonym: Russells

Primary industry: Agriculture

Government type: Parliamentary republic

Primary political party: Libertarian Socialist Party (68%)

Currency: US Dollar, Vogel coins (pegged to US Dollar)

Languages: Russian, Ukrainian, Tatar, English