Wow.  WOW.  It literally came down to one point.  It has never been this close before.  Or at least probably not.  I don\’t know.  I didn\’t actually check.

First, a word about our bronze medalist, the most decorated Fantasy Olympian of all time, The Former Vice Mayor of The Land of Tony\’s Flags, Kenny Kyle Fletcher.  Not quite able to reach his past success, he still hit the medal stand. He\’s like the Lindsey Vonn of this league except he has much better hair.

What Queen Ryan of Boylandia imagines the Summer Olympics will be like apparently.

The Winter Olympics were once again a not very hard fought battle made up mostly of Norway winning everything.  Maybe Trump should have rolled out that Norway-only immigration plan a few months earlier.  The US ended up finishing 4th in the medal table, which is I guess not you know, last, so meh whatever.  It\’s just being there that matters blah blah blah.

Also finishing not last were such storied Fantasy Olympians as Shah JoAnna of Jo-istan and Premier Daniel of Fepublic of Run, with his best ever finish at 17th.  And newcomers Chairman Randy of Randyland and President Bev of Team Kickass finished squarely in the top 40! And I finished 21st, which of course was exactly what I meant to do.

And now, the moment you\’ve all been waiting for.

The silver medal goes to Prime Minister Mark F of Bobbleheads.  It was a very strong showing, and it turned out to be a real squeaker but in the end he could not catch Her Excellency Amber of Rambastan, your 2018 Fantasy Winter Olympics gold medalist!

Congratulations everyone to a great season, and start doing your research now for Tokyo 2020.

The last hockey medal match is today, and I think we need to ask ourselves: should OAR really be allowed to compete?  First, they are widely suspected of doping.  And second of all, is it really safe to allow a jam band from the 90\’s to compete with fully suited up German hockey athletes?  It honestly seems pretty dangerous to me, but whatever.

Super Coach Whitney of Irv Blitzer could probably handily take on OAR in an athletic competition, but sadly, it does not seem she will be able to take the top of the podium in Fantasy Olympics.  It\’s pretty unfortunate because no one puts the FAN in Fantasy Olympics quite like Super Coach Whitney, whose enthusiasm Super Coached me during the early data entry phase of setting up the league.

Seriously, it\’s a LOT of data entry.

Google has made it a bit easier though because without me even having to struggle with any math, I can tell you some interesting statistics.

For example, 40% of the league selected Norway as the overall medal winner, while an optimistic 38% selected the United States.  24% of the league selected Austria to win Alpine Skiing, while 23% selected Norway.  The countries actually ended in a three way tie for the most Alpine Skiing medals with Switzerland, which garnered the faith of exactly 0% of Fantasy Olympians.

Shaun White was once again the most popular captain, just narrowly edging out Johannes Bo and Michaela Shiffrin.

And exactly one person, The Gambler Kenny Rogers of Kenny Rogers\’ Roasterstan correctly predicted the most exciting moment of the Olympics- US Men\’s Curling Gold.

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Standings

Much like his Olympic doppelgänger last week, Foreman Ted of The Democratic People\’s Republic of Vandalia is down to just one shot to live up to his great Fantasy Olympic expectations.

With only 6 points separating gold and bronze, it\’s a pretty exciting final day of the Olympics.  And don\’t count out Kingpin Matthew of The Altered State of Drugachussetts just 5 points off the medal stand.

Farther (further? where my grammar friends at?) down the table is Queen Robin of Randomland, who  breaks the top half of the table for the first time despite being a Shib Sibs apologist.

Let the countdown to the finale begin!

Spoiler Alert: Yes, she does.

Another Russian got caught doping, and Figure Skating, Freestyle Skiing, and Biathlon all gave out their final medals.  Her Excellency Amber of Rambastan still tops the leaderboard of course.

Not suspected of Fantasy Doping is The Other Anthony Scott of The Country of Bob who rounds out the leaderboard today with a… very… interesting 50 points.

Also very interesting is the medal count adding to the points totals this week.  Many Fantasy Olympians seem to make up for what they lack in selecting athletes by correctly predicting countries will be good at things they are traditionally good at.  But I\’ll be honest.  Medal Count was rough today.  No one got all three right though several people did get two. High Ruler of Yugoslavia and Other Imaginary Realms Esther of Arendale and Sultan Stephanie of Goldstania were both pushed into the top half of the table on the strength of their medal count selections.  Like many of you, they have already earned more points for their medals than their captains with half the sports left to finish.  However, it\’s going to be hard to catch Queen Mary of McCoyland who leads the way with 25 out of a possible 40 points so far.  I\’d suspect Queen Mary of Fantasy Doping but I\’ve never once seen her wear a shirt that says, \”I Don\’t Do Fantasy Doping\” so I know for sure she\’s clean.

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This blog is all in on Adam Rippon.

While all eyes have been on Former Vice Mayor Kenny Kyle of The Land of Tony\’s Flags as the Fletcher to topple the leaderboard reign of Her Excellency Amber of Rambastan it turns out that it\’s Prime Minister Mark of Bobbleheads that is the one true hope!  The Obi Wan of Fantasy Olympics.  Catching up to H.E. Amber has never seemed so possible though also probably still pretty unlikely.

Standings

Elsewhere, we\’re seeing a promising late run to 11th by Chef d\’Equipe Kerry of Cabernet Sauvignonia.  I don\’t know what a Chef d\’Equipe is exactly, but I know my spell check hates it.  Chancellor Megan of Pollywoglandia is also creeping up the medal table.

There are a lot of points left on the table, Fantasy Olympians, so it truly is anyone\’s ballgame! Though, it\’s a… um… much taller order for some.  There, that was a nice way to say it, right?

There are a lot of great competitors near the bottom of the leaderboard.  Though at this point it does seem like Agent Orange MellForTheGold of Shitholecountry and Shogun RebForTheWin of Africa are probably not walking away with the Gold or the Win.  But kudos to Queen Liz of Lindsay von Bismarck for probably achieving her goal of not last!

I know, I know, this seems cliche, but it\’s really just being at the Fantasy Olympics and having that experience that matters more than any medal.  You just can\’t put a price tag on being a Fantasy Olympian.

Patriotism.

Even with one great day, it\’s no secret that the good old US of A is no match for the Winter Olympics medal table.  The good news is, we\’ve finally passed \”Russia\” – excuse me… the Independent Olympic Athletes from Russia who despite being independent athletes are somehow able to compete in team sports.

I digress.

Some Fantasy Olympians have gone all in on #TeamUSA and much like real life, it\’s not exactly been a real points grab.  Supreme Leader Leah of Mulland picked all USA in the medal count and so far it\’s earned her a staggering 0 points.  But there\’s a lot of sports left to finish!  Well, namely snowboarding.  Snowboarding is pretty much our only hope.

Nordic Combined and Short Track Speed Skating both ended today, and Queen Mary of McCoyland was the only Fantasy Olympian to correctly pick that Germany and Korea would win those respectively. Though 15th is probably too far off the medal stand to make a late comeback, she is tied with Pharaoh Mike of Westland for the gold medal of people who work in my office, which is totally definitely a real thing.

Standings

As much as it pains me to say it, events are already starting to end, so you\’ll see the medal count points starting to factor in to the leaderboard.  But exactly no people guessed that Great Britain would win all the Skeleton medals, so they\’re not starting to be that much of a factor.

My Fantasy Olympics is going pretty much exactly like my homegirl Elise Christie, pictured at left.  And I know that Queen Sarah of Florin and Shah Sean of United Soviet Republic of People Who Totally Aren\’t Dopers can relate.

But some are putting quite a few points on the table.  Just out of the medals, in a very impressive 6th place, is Prime Minister Mark of Bobbleheads who is having a great Fantasy Olympics despite not being able to pick his full range of Russians like usual.  Rounding out the top ten is Premier Jarrod of Magamagastan who remains strong despite being mathematically unlikely to win, and not just because he thinks the United States of America will win the overall medal count.  Or maybe he just spelled Norway REALLY wrong.

Make America Great Again?

Standings are updated through Monday!

And while it\’s always great to be a Girard, the Olympics have really shown that to the world.  First, our distant cousin, Red, from the e branch of the family took home snowboard gold.  Then over the weekend, Cousin Sam rushed to Olympic speed skating fame!

Fantasy Olympics is full of Girards, as you may have noticed.  Baronmess Susan of Dry Martinia, President Mark of Packerland, and Queen Karen of Queenlandia, are all on the leaderboard, if not exactly in medal contention, and while I have now fallen to a still-respectable 19th, I intend to make it through to the finals on a penalty and then win the championship.  It is the Girard Way.

Also, honorable Girard mention goes to Queen Ginny of Don\’t Try to Chang Me who was the only competitor to select Sam Girard for her team, thereby earning her not only 5 points, but the admiration of Girards the world over.  And while I also see that she selected Nordic Combined competitor Bryan Fletcher, and can only assume she\’s trying to suck up to the Fantasy Olympics Commissioner, you have to wonder, is it any coincidence that she has skyrocketed out of last place this weekend?

CREEPY SIBLINGS

Okay.  The Shib Sibs are charming, I guess?  But also pretty unbelievably creepy.  For starters, did you know that they\’re adults?  Because they are for sure adults. He\’s like 36 or something.  And they are very… very close.

Picture yourself spending that much time with your adult sibling, competing in a  \”sport\” where a good part of it is how romantic you can be.  See: Virtue/Moir, the Canadian ice dancers who could single handedly earn Olympic figure skating an R rating.

Fantasy Olympics has its own sets of siblings, some creepier than others. And only one set which is doing particularly well.  Chancellor Brian of the creatively named country United States and Queen Alice of Barrettania have between them an impressive 242 points.  Queen Alice is a past medalist of Fantasy Olympics, and it appears that Chancellor Brian may be trying to keep it in the family.  Hey Now! Heidi of Garcialand and Queen Karen of Queenlandia are rounding out the bottom with 144 points.  And just eking past them with 147 points is Keeper of the Litter Palace Queen Allison and Skullgrinder Ross of The Mounted Sovereigns of Groganzola-on-the-Caucasus.

What does this mean?  I\’m not really sure.  I was pretty much just looking for a reason to bring my Shib Sib discomfort to you all.

What a beautiful engagement picture! Sike they are related by blood.