Great news for everyone, the standings are finally updated. Great news for President Colin of The Settler of Catan, he\’s finally out of Heartbreak position. Bad news for President Colin, he\’s now in a three way tie for 6th. Great news for President Colin, Ithaca\’s Eternal High Commander Trish, First of her Name says we shouldn\’t make you stand next to the guy you don\’t like.
No one fell harder faster so far this week than Rowdy Roddy Piper of Piperia. From out of the gate number one gold medalist to what? like 58th? after Day 6. Pretty embarrassing. After peaking early on with a triumphant silver medal in Archery, and a Shooting gold, I\’ll be honest with you, I\’m not sure he\’s scored a single point since. But that\’s okay because Track and Field is coming, and surely the Great Piperian has stacked his team with elite Track and Field athletes, right? Nope. He\’s chosen to pin most if not all of his hopes on Usain \”I\’ve Never Run a Mile\” Bolt. And, of course, American Sailor Paige Railey.
The rest of us may not be immune from the fate of Rowdy Rod, however. Exactly 2/3 of the League selected either Serena Williams or Novak Djokovic, or, for some of us sad sacks, both. Both Queen Karen of Destinesia and Pope Liz of Reederhoffia selected Serena as their captain, even. I imagine they\’re already looking ahead to next week as well. Paige Railey will save us all.
Would have gotten these STANDINGS updated earlier, but I couldn\’t stop watching Michael Phelps getting ready to race. Because NBC wouldn\’t let me.
For 38 minutes.
Half Supervisor Ross is on top of the leaderboard for another day. Astute League leaders may remember that Proudest Union of Former People\’s Republics of Groganzola (Unincorporated) competed in the 2014 Winter Olympic Games as the Grand Unified Sovereign Emirates of Groganzola. The Fantasy Olympics blog caught up with God-King turned Half Supervisor Ross to get us caught up on the goings on in our neighbor to the North (East? South?).
A: The future of the Proudest People\’s Union is bright! It is truly morning in Groganzola. We were awarded a lucrative contract by the IOC to pump sewage from Copacabana Beach and maintain the diving pool. If that goes well we may throw our hat in the ring for 2024. Fingers crossed!
Another day, another amazing Olympic experience. Walsh Jennings and Uchimura came close to losing out, and another unthinkable thing happened: I got the standings updated right away. Check them out here.
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| \”Mr. Gorbachev, check the medal table. You might as well tear down this wall.\” |
If you’re thinking of defecting from the League when you look at the Leaderboard, take heart, Track and Field is right around the corner.
There\’s a new Gold Medalist in town and, like the Olympic diving pool, we are all green with envy.
Congratulations to Premier KerryO of Raffles Apollo. Fun fact: KerryO took the lead by being the only person in this league who understands Equestrian. And Katie Ledecky.
Check out where you rank here.
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| Pictured: Half Supervisor Ross\’s heroic feat |
Much like Thailand\’s Sukanya Srisurat lifted an Olympic Record amount of weight yesterday (58kg? Or is that how much she weighs? I don\’t understand Judo or whatever this is.) Half-Supervisor Ross of the Proudest Union of Former People\’s Republics of Groganzola (Unincorporated) has lifted I dunno like what? Maybe 150lbs? to knock King Lance of Hyrule out of the gold medal spot on our Illustrious Leaderboard. It\’s a heartwarming story, given the obvious civil unrest in Gorgonzola since the 2014 Sochi games. Stay tuned for more on that, and in the meantime check the standings updated through last night at 11:59 pm here.
May you be as excited about your spot on the leaderboard as Cody Miller is to win a Bronze.
WELCOME TO THE PARIS 2024 FANTASY OLYMPICS! 