Patriotism.

Even with one great day, it\’s no secret that the good old US of A is no match for the Winter Olympics medal table.  The good news is, we\’ve finally passed \”Russia\” – excuse me… the Independent Olympic Athletes from Russia who despite being independent athletes are somehow able to compete in team sports.

I digress.

Some Fantasy Olympians have gone all in on #TeamUSA and much like real life, it\’s not exactly been a real points grab.  Supreme Leader Leah of Mulland picked all USA in the medal count and so far it\’s earned her a staggering 0 points.  But there\’s a lot of sports left to finish!  Well, namely snowboarding.  Snowboarding is pretty much our only hope.

Nordic Combined and Short Track Speed Skating both ended today, and Queen Mary of McCoyland was the only Fantasy Olympian to correctly pick that Germany and Korea would win those respectively. Though 15th is probably too far off the medal stand to make a late comeback, she is tied with Pharaoh Mike of Westland for the gold medal of people who work in my office, which is totally definitely a real thing.

Standings

As much as it pains me to say it, events are already starting to end, so you\’ll see the medal count points starting to factor in to the leaderboard.  But exactly no people guessed that Great Britain would win all the Skeleton medals, so they\’re not starting to be that much of a factor.

My Fantasy Olympics is going pretty much exactly like my homegirl Elise Christie, pictured at left.  And I know that Queen Sarah of Florin and Shah Sean of United Soviet Republic of People Who Totally Aren\’t Dopers can relate.

But some are putting quite a few points on the table.  Just out of the medals, in a very impressive 6th place, is Prime Minister Mark of Bobbleheads who is having a great Fantasy Olympics despite not being able to pick his full range of Russians like usual.  Rounding out the top ten is Premier Jarrod of Magamagastan who remains strong despite being mathematically unlikely to win, and not just because he thinks the United States of America will win the overall medal count.  Or maybe he just spelled Norway REALLY wrong.

Make America Great Again?

Standings are updated through Monday!

And while it\’s always great to be a Girard, the Olympics have really shown that to the world.  First, our distant cousin, Red, from the e branch of the family took home snowboard gold.  Then over the weekend, Cousin Sam rushed to Olympic speed skating fame!

Fantasy Olympics is full of Girards, as you may have noticed.  Baronmess Susan of Dry Martinia, President Mark of Packerland, and Queen Karen of Queenlandia, are all on the leaderboard, if not exactly in medal contention, and while I have now fallen to a still-respectable 19th, I intend to make it through to the finals on a penalty and then win the championship.  It is the Girard Way.

Also, honorable Girard mention goes to Queen Ginny of Don\’t Try to Chang Me who was the only competitor to select Sam Girard for her team, thereby earning her not only 5 points, but the admiration of Girards the world over.  And while I also see that she selected Nordic Combined competitor Bryan Fletcher, and can only assume she\’s trying to suck up to the Fantasy Olympics Commissioner, you have to wonder, is it any coincidence that she has skyrocketed out of last place this weekend?

CREEPY SIBLINGS

Okay.  The Shib Sibs are charming, I guess?  But also pretty unbelievably creepy.  For starters, did you know that they\’re adults?  Because they are for sure adults. He\’s like 36 or something.  And they are very… very close.

Picture yourself spending that much time with your adult sibling, competing in a  \”sport\” where a good part of it is how romantic you can be.  See: Virtue/Moir, the Canadian ice dancers who could single handedly earn Olympic figure skating an R rating.

Fantasy Olympics has its own sets of siblings, some creepier than others. And only one set which is doing particularly well.  Chancellor Brian of the creatively named country United States and Queen Alice of Barrettania have between them an impressive 242 points.  Queen Alice is a past medalist of Fantasy Olympics, and it appears that Chancellor Brian may be trying to keep it in the family.  Hey Now! Heidi of Garcialand and Queen Karen of Queenlandia are rounding out the bottom with 144 points.  And just eking past them with 147 points is Keeper of the Litter Palace Queen Allison and Skullgrinder Ross of The Mounted Sovereigns of Groganzola-on-the-Caucasus.

What does this mean?  I\’m not really sure.  I was pretty much just looking for a reason to bring my Shib Sib discomfort to you all.

What a beautiful engagement picture! Sike they are related by blood.

Well, he may have finished off the medal podium last night, but who cares, Adam Rippon is the best. I may not have known anything about him until like a week ago, but several Fantasy Olympians were early adopters, and should be recognized.  Scrooge McScott of Duckburg (Not the One You\’re Thinking Of), Hey Now! Heidi of Garcialand, Queen Liz of Lindsay von Bismarck, and Pipe Swinger Not Tanya Harding of Gilloolia clearly knew the joy he would bring to our lives, even though he only brought two points to their teams.  Soon, hopefully, he\’ll be bringing joy to Queen Ryan O of Boylandia\’s life when I force them to date so I can be friends with Adam Rippon.  Get out of my way, Sally Field. 

While Adam Rippon is leading the Olympics, Her Excellency Amber of Rambastan enjoyed another day atop the leaderboard.  But it\’s Queen Charlotte of Covfefe and Shot Caller Marcus of Marcistan who deserve honorable mention today- climbing up the leaderboard to just off the medal stand, but well within striking distance.

Standings are up to date through Saturday\’s events.  One week in, and my end of Olympics depression is starting to creep up already.  I

Valentines Day Edition

Love is in the air in the Olympics (see photo) and love is in the air in the Fantasy Olympics League.  Much like pairs figure skaters, and the Norwegian mixed doubles curling team, many of our competitors are married to each other.  And unlike the Norwegian mixed doubles curling team, hopefully happily so.

But how do those couples stack up to the competition?  Have they risen to the occasion, or are they falling apart and then screaming at each other in front of curling fans across the world?

Well, not surprisingly, Former Vice Mayor Kenny Kyle Fletcher of The Land of Tony\’s Flags and myself, the Sultan of Murphladesh, also known as the power couple of American Curling, are in a resounding first place.  Some might find that suspicious given that exclusive control of the game is also in our home, but I assure you that this game is ethical and above reproach.

In a tie for second is Mountain Diego of New Newfreeland and Governor Trish of Iowa with Her Excellency Amber of Rambastan (our current points leader) and Barkeep CharDee MacDennis of Paddy\’s Pubistan.  Just a few points back from the leaders, it\’s truly going to be a fight to the finish.

On the bottom of the table today is President Mark of Packerland and Queen Karen of Queenlandia and Pipe Swinger Not Tonya Harding of Gilloolia and Gambler Kenny Rogers of Kenny Rogers\’ Roasterstan.

And finally, rounding out the standings are a couple that allegedly is very into both the Olympics and fantasy sports games, Keeper of the Litter Palace Queen Allison of Mabeltopia and The Bonanza King himself of Bonanzabwe.  With a mere 51 points, an incredible 117 points out of the lead, one has to wonder: do they have what it takes to mount a comeback?

It\’s been a bad day.  Sure, sure, many Americans went home with medals, but my captain, Elise Christie, was brutally kicked in the hand by eventual silver medal winner Yara van something or other in the 500m short track speed skate today.  And then pyeongchang2018.com went down for maintenance.

Finally, the standings are updated, only to reveal that Kingpin Matthew of The Altered State of Drugachusetts is also having a bad day.  He\’s taken a Herrington tumble out of medal contention.  And bad news for Queen Ginny of Don\’t Try to Chang Me who finds herself still in single digits, just out of the seven way tie for next to last. But there\’s a lot of Olympics left to go, which is terrible news for Chancellor Brian Barrette of United States who probably peaked way too early.

Check your ranking here.  

Much like Bradie Tennell is here, the US is in turmoil.  I know, I know, this comes as a surprise. But let\’s focus on the Olympic-specific turmoil.  6 medals out of I don\’t know, probably 50, so far.  I haven\’t had my hopes this dashed since… well, I guess earlier this college basketball season.  The only sports we are excelling in are the ones we invented.  Which actually should just be our plan going forward.  If we get enough random US sports in the Olympics, then eventually we win the most medals.  If we can\’t be strong enough or fast enough, then at least we can be the most creative.  Flonkerton 2022!

Some fantasy countries competing in this league are going through a similarly tumultuous time.  It appears the poor souls of Groganzola have endured another coup since the 2016 Rio Olympics.  The Mounted Sovereigns of Groganzola-on-the-Caucausus have sent their fearless- and I\’m told much feared- leader Skullgrinder Ross to try to best their 11th place finish. So far?  Not so good.

I would be remiss were I not to mention the feel-good story of these Fantasy Olympics.  Despite going through what must be a chaotic time, Covfefe and The People\’s Republic of Covfefe are able to compete side by side.  Though there is no word yet whether Queen Charlotte of Covfefe and Her Serene Highness Jen of PRC foresee a united future, they\’ve at least stopped tweeting at each other, which is all anyone can ask for really.

The Secret to Red Gerard\’s Success: He\’s 2 Dozen Different Snowboarders

The Olympics have gotten off to a shredding start with the first US gold going to young Red Gerard, my claimed distant cousin, who was totally stoked to win gold in the snowboarding one where they jump on the pipes but then they also flip at the end. I\’m a pretty big snowboarder so I totally know what that is called, I just didn\’t want to confuse those of you who aren\’t so hip to the lingo.

Fantasy Olympics has also definitely not been a bummer for Kingpin Matthew Leathers of The Altered State of Drugachusetts who has survived another day atop the leaderboard.  NBC may have devoted an hour of this morning\’s Olympics coverage to wondering whether Red Gerard really \”gets\” it because he\’s a millennial, but we here at the Fantasy Olympics blog know that Kingpin Matthew gets it.  He\’s come so close to the top before only to have it slip from his grasp.  Can he hold on for the next two weeks?  … maybe?

To see how you\’re doing, check the leaderboard here.  But be warned.  Point totals are updated through Sunday\’s events, so you may see spoilers for this afternoon\’s coverage.  For example, I have already entered the medals for the speed skating event that is currently airing.  Check the tabs at the bottom of the page to find your personal team or look at the Olympians tab to see how a particular Olympian is faring.

And don\’t forget to join the Facebook group for lively conversation.