It was Valentine’s Day at the Olympics for the many Olympic athlete couples, such as Madison Chock and Evan Bates, shown here during their free dance where they are obviously portraying an alien and an astronaut.

While this extraterrestrial love story fell just short of the medal stand, it was gold for another Olympic couple: Ashley Caldwell and Justin Schoenefeld in some kind of ski jumping thing that involved skiing backwards and flipping a million times and was so totally nuts that I woke a fellow Fantasy Olympian up in the middle of the night to make her watch it. I’ll obviously begin training right away for the 2026 Milano Cortina games, just as soon as I get over my fear of skiing forwards down a slight incline.

More Olympians in love- the US’s Madison Hubbell is engaged to one of the Spanish ice dancers, my claimed cousin Red Gerard is dating one of the girl snowboarders who isn’t Chloe Kim, and the one the commentators can’t stop talking about, Michaela Shiffrin and the Norwegian guy with all the names.

Too many more to name (without directly ripping off the USA Today article on the same subject) but it must be awkward to spend the Olympics with your partner when one of you is far superior at the sport. Something I know all too well, as my spouse, Desperado Ken of the Land of Tony’s Flags is a perpetual medalist in Fantasy Olympics whereas I am currently just off the podium in a respectable 13th.

Life imitates art sport as the saying goes, and the Fantasy Olympics is also rife with couples. The Swiddles seem to have joined forces into one country which is I guess not against the rules, but fortunately for them the pandemic has kind of zapped my will to enforce rules so I’m not going to investigate. Shogun Diego of pooponastick the country and Chancellor Trish of Tinkago are a fairly evenly matched 14th and 18th, as are Marge, Other of our our other poop themed nation, Poopopolis, and Sultaness Allison of the Desert of Content coming in at 19th and 22nd respectively.

Waaaaay down at the bottom of the table we have Most Supreme Leader, forever blessings be upon her, Jen of the Kingdom of Aldovia, and Sultan Don of Rootabega at 25th and 27th, and rounding out the group are Queen Gigi of Preschoolia (26th), and Your highlowness Mark of LowerUpper (29th), who made the patriotic decision to choose all Americans, and we all know how the Olympics are going for Americans.

Check the standings here.