One thing I definitely won’t miss about the Olympics is the feature stories about how old athletes are who are much younger than me.

One thing I definitely will miss is Tom Daley and his knitting.

One thing you should know is that the commentator for the women’s basketball game just said, “you can’t microwave a gold medal.” And sure, he meant like, work hard, nothing happens overnight, but it’s also just very good practical advice. Fortunately the melting point of gold is 1,948 degrees F which is about 9x hotter than your average microwave.

I know this is the kind of content you came for.