Looking at today\’s standings, it\’s clear that President Matt of New Freeland and President Nathan of Merica are in a synchronized dive to the bottom.  Which is particularly bad news if you have seen the color of the diving pool lately.  I don\’t have anything funny to say about it really.  It is seriously gross.  Presidents Matt and Nathan have 183 combined points, and there are at least that many kinds of bacteria in that murky water.

President Matt started strong with a wise pick of South Korean archers before making a big splash by giving the captain nod to the United States Men\’s Basketball team, a group of internationally renowned superstars who this week have followed up almost losing to Serbia with the excitement of almost losing to France.

President Nathan made the choice to captain Trampoline Gymnast Dong Dong, but at what cost?  Well, as it turns out, probably success.