Congratulations to Meryl Davis and Charlie White, the first ever United States Gold Medalists in Ice Dancing! While it\’s certainly remarkable that Steve Zahn taught that dragon to do all those moves, it\’s perhaps even more remarkable that they also somehow tricked the United States into thinking Ice Dancing was at all legitimate.

In fact, that dragon convinced not only the public at large, but a full five Presidents in this league to select the duo, including current leader President Brian Barrette of the bleakly-named Barrettstan.

One president had the faith and foresight to even name them as her captain.  President Jen Root has earned twenty points from Davis and White, which is actually more than all the rest of her Olympians added together, and in fact has pushed her from nineteenth to a thirteenth place tie literally overnight.  Noted organizers of the Fantasy Olympics game admit to laughing when they saw the pick, but it\’s not only President Root that put her team on the backs of Davis and White, but it seems the United States did as well.

I\’m calling it now: the summer\’s biggest reality competition show will be So You Think You Can Ice Dance? and will be judged by America\’s Golden Sweethearts and the Canadian Ice Dancer who looks like a version of Amy Adams that just might burn down your house if you broke up with her.

But not just Fox is going to capitalize on the success of Davis and White.  Check out this IMDB plot summary for the children\’s movie How to Train Your Dragon 2, due out later this year:

It\’s been five years since Hiccup and Toothless successfully united dragons and vikings on the island of Berk. While Astrid, Snotlout and the rest of the gang are challenging each other to dragon races, the now inseparable pair journey from rink to rink, charting unmapped dance genres and exploring new sequined tutus. When one of their adventures leads to the discovery of a secret ice cave that is home to hundreds of new wild dragons, the two friends find themselves at the center of a dance battle to protect the peace. Now, Hiccup and Toothless must unite to dance-skate for what they believe while recognizing that only together do they have the power to change the future of both men and dragons and Olympic competition television coverage.

It\’s sad how little of that summary I had to change really.