You\’ll note that the Sochi 2014 website is surprisingly listing the medal count by number of gold medals won.  Based on the stats, I would have thought they\’d go for silver medals, or countries who are also the host country, or countries led by Putin.  Either way, the United States is really phoning it in at these games.  Oh sure, we have the most bronzes.  Great.  We\’re the best at almost losing.

Unless these games turn around, I think our best bet as a country is to spend the next four years lobbying for all sports but Snowboarding to be dropped from the Winter Olympics.  Definitely no Speed Skating.  Yeesh.  Another option is invade The Netherlands.  They\’d never see it coming and I think we could chase them down easily, provided they weren\’t on skates.  Or skis.